Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger

When I started my New Year’s post, I meant to do two obvious things: take stock of 2009, and set goals for 2010. By the time I was done listing the interesting events of 2009, I was so bored of my own writing, I fell asleep. New Years resolutions almost always fail, because (to steal from How I Met Your Mother), they hold Future Stephen in far too high esteem. I’m guessing Future Stephen will be about as lazy and noncommittal as I am, so I wouldn’t want to throw him under the bus like that. This year I’m trying for a more realistic approach. Here is a short summary:

Pretty Realistic Goals for 2010

• Exercise at least 3 times a week, every week. No, it’s certainly not a groundbreaking goal, but what’s the point in setting a goal you don’t think you can keep? I’m convinced this is worthwhile. Exercise keeps me focused and less likely to curl up in the fetal position eating Cheetos. Case in point: it was around midnight, the night before my two last (and most difficult) finals of the semester. My first (Quantum Mechanics) was at 8 a.m. I had been cramming all day, and couldn’t focus anymore. So I got up, put on shorts, and ran a mile. Mind: cleared, and I attribute my A to that.
• Cut Caffeine. Not quit entirely, just cut back as much as possible. When I’m busy, I ingest huge amounts of caffeine, and feel like I can’t get through the day without it. Since I already have trouble sleeping and excess adrenaline has caused panic attacks, taking a stimulant just seems like a bad idea to me. The goal: drink at most 3 caffeinated beverages a week, and only if it’s explicitly to keep me awake. If I just want a cup of coffee for its own sake, I’ll go decaf. Long drives are, of course, exceptions.
• Read the Bible regularly. I’m not necessarily talking about a strict daily regimen; just more regularly than I have been. I have a tendency to praise physical activity without actually committing to it, and a similar tendency to be “open” about my faith without attending to it on a private level. This year I hope to change both.
• Make at least one very good friend in Berkeley who shares my beliefs. I’m certainly not making belief any criteria for friendship: if anything, I relate much better to the skeptical than the devoted. It comes more naturally to me. That’s why my goal is such a weak one: just one person to keep my social chameleon tendencies in check.
• Meet all of my professors. Berkeley is a cool place, and most of my professors are cool people. It’s a shame that I waste it by never going to office hours, attending discussion, or even asking questions. This year I’ll try to change that.
• Force myself into a public speaking situation. Speaking in front of a crowd is my biggest weakness, hands down. I can ace an exam or write a decent essay, but if you ask me to give a 5 minute presentation in front of a class I’ll clam up. This isn’t me being self-deprecating. I am absolutely the worst public speaker I know, the reason being that I never have to do it; whenever it comes up, I do everything in my power to avoid it. This year I’ll force myself to take at least one big risk, and go in front of a large group of people to speak. Hopefully that won’t be in front of a crowd of engineers at a conference in Anchorage; but if it comes to that, I won’t refuse.

Sounds reasonable, right? Glad that’s over with. Now onto business.

Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger

Stephen Colbert has a popular segment on his show called Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger. In it, he spotlights a few people who are doing “good” or “bad” things (at least, according to his ultra-conservative persona.) Since my job has me surrounded in Christian literature, I’ve been exposed to quite a few prominent Christian figures the past few days. And I’ve got some strong opinions on them. So here’s are a few Tips of the Hat and Wags of the Finger, from someone who is in no way worthy of spouting his opinions about other people. They are all related to what is one of my main issues with Christianity: how belief is presented to others, and how we interact with those who disagree.

A Tip of the Hat to: Craig Gross, founder of xxxchurch.com

I remember hearing about xxxchurch.com way back in 8th grade. They had a program, called X3Watch, which was meant to help people stop watching pornography, if they so chose. You’d install the program, let it run in the background, and it would monitor what sites you visited. Rather than blocking anything (like those terrible parental-control programs that block you from message boards and google image searches), it would simply send a list of possibly-questionable sites you visited to an e-mail address of your choosing. I thought it was an okay, if annoyingly buggy, program, and wondered why the site was called “The #1 Christian Porn Site.” I read their mission statement, took a look at the preacher with his indie hair and graphic tees, and wrote it off as just another example of a church embracing hipsterdom, selling their souls for fake street cred and shock value. I never went back.

The other day I was uploading publishing information for a book called Jesus Loves You…This I Know by Craig Gross and Josh Harper. The chapter titles were very straightforward descriptions of who Jesus loves: “Jesus Loves the Broken”, “Jesus Loves Skeptics”, etc. But one title caught my eye: “Jesus Loves Porn Stars”.  People who remorsefully watch porn is one thing the church is willing to talk about. But people who star in it? How would this book handle people who choose to have sex on camera for money, when even acknowledging their existence is considered uncouth? I expected the run of the mill “everyone makes mistakes, and even if you were a porn star at one point in your life, you are forgiven” altar call message. In other words, “Jesus Loves Ex-Porn Stars”, dancing around the actual issue as we love to do with often empty phrases like “Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin.”  It’s always about forgiving people for their past or uncharacteristic actions: but what about their present, unapologetic lifestyles?

Instead, the chapter was about Gross’ experiences with XXXChurch. The story was one I’d heard before, but I’d never considered the gravity of it. They began their ministry by setting up booths at annual Adult Film conventions, handing out Bibles that say “Jesus Loves Porn Stars.” (Porn conventions being places where actual porn, and porn stars, are present — in other words, a place where virtually no pastor would dare to be seen.) And they don’t do it patronizingly, or while shouting fire and brimstone messages. Gross went on to describe his own friendship with Ron Jeremy, the Porn King; how Ron volunteered to do a promotion for his ministry, how he has invited him into his home to meet his family, and how they toured together in the same bus hosting college debates on the merits of pornography.

Meanwhile, Craig Gross is unflinching in his condemnation of the porn industry. He sees it as degrading to women, deceptive to men, and painful for most of those involved in the production and consumption. And he gives that message very often. But while he stands against the industry, he loves the people in it. Online you can see videos of what his team does: one of the most astounding, to me, was their Extreme Brothel Makeover. They went to a brothel in Nevada which was extremely run down, and renovated it. Not the work rooms, of course. But the living rooms: where the girls who work as prostitutes sleep and eat. They put in new beds, repainted the walls, updated the plumbing, renovated the bathroom, carpeted the floor — everything you’d expect of the Ty Pennington and his cheesy crew, but at a brothel. Not on the condition that the women quit their jobs, or with pity and indignation. Just a genuine care for their well-being, a few books on the shelf to let them know about the ministry, and a message of love.

How much hell must they have gotten for that? For a pastor to go to a place where prostitutes live, and better their lives without first demanding that they leave? Even I was a bit thrown off at first. I wanted to agree with the critics, who argued that making their living conditions easier was equivalent to encouraging prostitution, and likewise that befriending porn stars was an endorsement of their work. Much like I want to agree with the idea that feeding the homeless encourages them to remain unemployed. Because it has a slight point, and more importantly, it justifies apathy. But in the end, it’s about the message you want to present. And to me, putting your reputation on the line to show love for people most of the world wouldn’t look in the eye is a powerful message.

A Wag of the Finger to: Craig Gross, founder of The Strip Church

Yes, this is the same Craig Gross I just tipped my hat to. Why the sudden change of heart?

A year or two ago, Gross announced that he would be starting a church on the Las Vegas Strip. Of course, it wouldn’t be your “typical church.” Like Vegas itself, it would be flashy. On the official site, it describes the vision as follows:

“Part variety, part comedy, extremely entertaining and a slice of spirituality is how Craig Gross, Founder and Pastor of The Strip Church, describes his idea for the Strip Church show. It will not be a service…it will be a show.”

The show includes Vegas performers, standup comedians, free drinks, transport to and from various casinos, and a marriage chapel on wheels. And, of course, a $10 admission price.

While I understand what the pastor is trying to do, I can’t stress enough how damaging an idea this could be. Flamboyancy in outreach is one thing, and even when XXXChurch uses a 30-foot inflatable penis (if you don’t want to see a 30-foot inflatable penis, you might not want to click that) to get attention at the conventions they attend, I think it’s hilarious. Goofy gimmicks are fine when they’re presented as such — it’s the organization showing that it isn’t afraid to relate to the culture, in a setting where no one present would be offended. But when you start calling yourself a church, within those walls you’re supposed to be offering something substantial. While gimmicks may be necessary to get noticed on the outside strip, they have no place inside the church. It reduces Christianity to a series of jokes, and gives an air of flippancy. Craig is in a unique position in the area, having gained respect for his sincerity. What do you do in that situation? Present something sincere. The world doesn’t need another portrayal of Christianity as a fun social venue, any more than it needs another stern Puritanical prison. It needs something real. While the Strip Church may turn out to offer that, it certainly isn’t branding itself well.

Tip of the Hat to: Timothy Keller, author of The Reason for God

As I’ve written about a few times, I have a lot of problems with most books claiming to be about Apologetics (defending Christianity from an intellectual point of view). It’s for the same reason I can’t stand when people use science (global warming, for instance) for political purposes: when you’ve got an agenda to push, everyone’s an expert and objectivity goes out the window. It’s difficult to take an honest look at the issues when you’ve got a vested interest in one side — especially when the issue at hand is the eternal destiny of your readers.

After a mild rant against Lee Strobel, a friend recommended I pick up Keller’s book.  I recently did, and so far am very glad to have done so. Here are a few quotes from the introduction.

“There is a great gulf today between what is popularly known as liberalism and conservatism. Each side demands that you not only disagree with but disdain the other as (at best) crazy or (at worst) evil. This is particularly true when religion is the point at issue.”

“Believers should acknowledge and wrestle with doubts — not only their own but their friends’ and neighbors’. It is no longer sufficient to hold beliefs just because you inherited them. Only if you struggle long and hard with objections to your faith will you be able to provide grounds for your beliefs to skeptics, including yourself, that are plausible rather than ridiculous or offensive. And, just as important for our current situation, such a process will lead you, even after you come to a position of strong faith, to respect and understand those who doubt.”

“I commend two processes to my readers. I urge skeptics to wrestle with the unexamined ‘blind faith’ on which skepticism is based, and to see how hard it is to justify those beliefs to those who do not share them. I also urge believers to wrestle with their personal and culture’s objections to the faith. At the end of each process, even if you remain the skeptic or believer you have been, you will hold your own position with both greater clarity and greater humility.  Then there will be an understanding, sympathy, and respect for the other side that did not exist before. Believers and nonbelievers will rise to the level of disagreement rather than simply denouncing one another. This happens when each side has learned to represent the other’s arguments in its strongest and most positive form. Only then is it safe and fair to disagree with it. That achieves civility in a pluralistic society, which is no small thing.”

Needless to say, I believe that mindset is necessary for meaningful discourse on any issue, let alone faith. Having not yet finished the book, I can’t say whether or not Keller succeeded in what he set out to do. But I have a great deal of respect for a pastor who can make a statement like that, and sincerely hope it is an indication of good things to come.

Wag of the Finger to: Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort, Authors of Conquer Your Fears, Share Your Faith

Immediately after working on the aformentioned Jesus Loves You…This I Know, I popped Cameron and Comfort’s book into my CD drive.  I saw a chapter titled “Speaking with Intellectuals.” Being familiar with Ray Comfort’s brand of evangelism, I knew this couldn’t end well. I hit play, and Kirk Cameron’s angelic voice began.

“Say that you are sitting on an airplane, and you finally get up courage to speak to the man sitting next to you. As he sips his coffee, you say, “Hey Brian, I have a question for you. What do you think happens after someone dies?” Brian finishes the last gulp of his coffee, thinks for a minute, and says…”nothing.” You say, “nothing?” He smiles condescendingly and says, “I am an atheist.”

Now you are the one who gulps, and you are not finishing anything but your desire to end this conversation. This man is obviously an intellectual: he’s a thinker. He probably has a university degree! What do you say now?

Here’s what you need to do: stop thinking that Brian is an intellectual. That’s just not true. There is a possibility that he has a high IQ, but he is not a deep thinker. He’s a fool, according to the Bible. He is very shallow in his thoughts. He is of the same mentality as a man who believes that no one made the airplane you are both sitting on — the seats, the wings, the lighting, the sound system, the onboard television and radio, the engines, the carpet, the intricate wiring — all of these things happened by accident. There was nothing, then came a big bang, then, in time, an airplane appeared…from nothing.

Such thoughts are bordering on insanity, or are at most thoughts from the mind of a simpleton. So why do we insist on believing that atheists are intellecual? “

What’s the trick to dealing with intellectuals? Simple: just remember how stupid they are. They’re insane! Just look at them, condescendingly sipping their black coffee, smoking their cigars, and saying smarmy things like “ergo”. They think this whole airplane came out of thin air! What will those lunatics think up next?! Now hurry up, and set the record straight for the poor shallow-minded simpleton.  Begin by telling him about the Triune God who came to earth as a man over 2000 years ago, died, and resurrected from the dead. Speak slowly: I’m sure he’ll be taking notes.

The point is, it’s ridiculous to treat people like that. Caricatures are always the easy way out. Even if it were correct that atheism could be defeated by pointing out how complicated the airplane you’re sitting in is, convincing yourself that you’re talking to an idiot will get you nowhere. You’re talking to a person who has genuine reasons for unbelief, and it’s silly and rude to paint it as anything less.

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That’s it for today’s edition of Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger. Comment if you disagree. Or agree. Just comment…I’m getting lonely here.

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